Posted on 19 Comments

Happy Child or Broken Adult

 

 

 
Love has so many reasons while hate has so few.

Acceptance

For many years I thought there was something wrong with me. The emotional trauma I bared was from having such a big secret. I can recollect praying and apologized for these thoughts that remained embedded in my mind. I tried training the way I would think because I assumed, I was defective. Not only did I believe something was off; these thoughts were immoral, and I was afraid of the consequences the universe had in store for someone like me! I also felt those thoughts would lead me to become a wicked person. It had taken me until I was 23 years old to come out as gay!

                                         

I was brought up with love, respect, manners and above all morality! I knew right from wrong and the consequences acquired for being a sinful person, which terrified me because I believed I was corrupt! As time went on though, I began to realize that was not the case at all. An immoral person does not evolve out of your sexual preference, though a lot of us from the LGBT community have once had this thought because of the negative publicity others attain from our private lives! One of the hardest things you can do in life is to disappoint your family. Sadly, this does happen, and it does break up many families. These unnecessary conflicts are very unfortunate because there are so many families that do fight over sexual preference yet, there are so many families that couldn’t care less and still show the love that every person deserves. If you are a parent and the sexual preference of your child bothers you, the one piece of advice that you should take from me is that ‘you have made us and the love we give, is no different, from the love that you have given us.

Same-Love                               

There is still a lot of prejudice and stereotyping going on in the world we live in, and it’s quite unfortunate! If you have the time to have this kind of hate within your own heart, then, in my opinion, you have too much time on your hands! When it comes to the problems this country faces, I can tell you those petty issues are minimal in comparison to the rest. What is normal? I have heard of a lot of negativity from stereotyping or from being prejudice using this word as the justification; to me it just means variety. When you open up a pack of Eminem’s or Skittles there’s a variety of colors and flavors, but yet you enjoy each of them just the same, or when you go to work every day, one of the things you try to do is change it up just a little, so it’s not so repetitive.

If you’re a parent and have the feelings toward someone that you may not be fond of, well then look at your child with that very same hatred. Your child could be the one you hate, even if you doubt it, they still might! As you are staring at them and can feel that hatred ease up, then just maybe the remnants from the old country are going away, and people can finally be!

Be Yourself


Too many of us are not living life as who we were meant to be. Sadly, this is because we are surrounded by closed-minded people who don’t embrace other perceptional views. I have learned from an extensive range of beliefs and can relate to many of them too. However, I cannot comprehend having a child believe that something they may already be trying to figure out themselves is wrong when it is just a personal life of one individual. The Personal lifestyle of someone shouldn’t have any effect on another. Do not allow your stereotyping and prejudices affect the ones that you care about; you may not know it, but you’re tearing at their sanity because they are trying so hard to fix something that doesn’t need to be adjusted.

Be who you were meant to be; live as if each breath you take; will be the last! Live each moment for yourself and never give up the things you love, for anyone!

Love has so many reasons while hate has so few.

 

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19 thoughts on “Happy Child or Broken Adult

  1. Hello, 

    I really need compassion for the people who appear in the first video and Ellen is a great role model for every one. I had seen before the video with the two twins coming out to their dad. It was very emotional. 

    We really need to create more acceptance for those people. 

    I really feel sorry for those people whose family doesn’t accept them because of their sexual orientation. A lot of conflicts arise for no reason. Yes, I know that it is hard for the family to accept something like this, especially in very strict cultures, but there needs to be more compassion and acceptance for the person who is like that.

    1. I really feel Ellen has been the perfect comedian as well as a role model throughout my life.  I can remember when she came out and didn’t even know what that meant at the time!  Yes, the video was one I thought to be most appropriate because even though gay marriage is legal I can still see the stress it causes within people, and it shouldn’t.  The life anyone lives are their life and we should embrace people who just want to be themselves.  

      Thanks for reaching out

  2. I really like your about yourself page! It truly attract my attention. Moreover, the picture at the left hand corner, you are the first one having this design! Is not my cup of tea I cannot hold myself from not clicking on it! Well done! You are creating a platform, or more precisely saying a community for people who in need! No matter what their problems are, there is a space for them to fit into! Appreciate all your hard work and keep on going !

    1. Thank you so much, I very much appreciate the kind words!

  3. What a beautiful and heart felted written post. So many people write blogs about so many things but not often I come across a blog like yours that speak from the heart. it is true we should embrace who we are and never be afraid of speak up the truth.  We live in a society that has a lot of double standards but i truly believe we can make it better, more accepting, more open to diversity. It is diversity that makes this world a better and nicer place

    1. Thank and very true. Our future is diversity and we can either embrace the change or hate it, but hating it will only slow down the inevitability.  Thanks for the comment

  4. Wow, true2u – congrats on putting together this beautiful site and sharing your stories. I could write a book about these subjects. I’m an alcoholic/addict and gay. I moved to NY City just after the Stonewall riots took place. It was an exciting time to be out and gay and single. I was out at work and with friends. However, we never really said the words out loud to my parents. It was the elephant in the room. When I finally did in my 30s, my Mom was in denial and my dad was curious. But they both still loved me. That was the important thing. Nobody changed. It just wasn’t a secret. 

    I think being afraid to admit who I was in my childhood was one big reason I secretly drank in high school. Who knows? Regardless I have been clean and sober for almost 30 years. I’m in Los Angeles now. I must say it’s a lot easier to be gay in LA and NYC. I’m sorry for kids growing up in other parts of the country or the world where it might actually be dangerous to be true to yourself. 

    So fly your flag high and be proud of who you are. 

    Thanks for creating this loving forum

    1. Thanks so much for the kind words! I will say that our age difference may give some people an understanding of how different each part of our country truly is. Thanks again

  5. This was a heartful article and it really shows the need for acceptance by society for everyone no matter what color they may have or what persuasion they may have for other people. There are limits as in child molesters and rapists and so on, but for the people that just want to live their lives without judgment by others and harm no one, I say let them be.

    There are more incidents of hate these days than there has been for a long time, and a lot of that starts at the top, our current person in the President’s office. He is fomenting hate with his words and actions and seems to thrive on divisiveness. 

    The message is clear for me with your post and with those around me. Just let them live without trying to put them down or restricting their rights. It is not that hard for most of us, and those that do practice discrimination and worse need to be called out and they need to stop. Not sure we can ever eliminate this totally, but we can be an active voice ic calling it out when we see it.

    1. Thanks for your feedback! There is always going to be something about a person that will negatively affect another person. How the effects change who you are and the goals you have made is the point that should be made. People today are learning to be who they are and it is understandable to have some of the negative reactions from others, but then again it is 2019. Acceptance or isolation is really the only path to take, and isolation just seems sad.

  6. I literally am tearing up as I am reading your post.  As a gay man, I have struggled with self hatred all my life.  I wanted so much to please others that I forgot myself and it took me until I was 39 to come out and feel free!  What was the reaction you received from your family and friends when you came out?  Were you warmly received?  Did dome reject you?  I received a mix, I was lucky to have an incredible mother who supported me and my father, being very sick did not really at that point understand what I was revealing.  I too felt at first I was a sinner and bound for doom, but I learned differently, that we are all created to be loving creatures.  It isn’t who we love but how we express our love that GOD pays attention to.  I still receive ignorance from some of my co-workers and for awhile I was afraid I wouldn’t find success online if people knew I was Gay.  However; it took me a moment, but I realized success is not about sexual preference, or how we look, or our backgrounds, our religion, etc. It’s what is on our hearts and what we have to offer that is worth it!  I am now going on 48, my partner and I have been together now for 9 years and we plan to be married in summer of 2020. Both our families support us and though my mom and dad are no longer on earth to see this, I know they look down form heaven with approval.

    Thank you for this beautiful article and the message you express here! This is such an important outlook that the world should take notice on – Love not Hate.

    Robert

    1. Although things have lightened up, no it did not go very well, unfortunately. I was not around any of my family for about 6 months and to this day I am called a faggot by close family. Yes, the one person who supported me was the only person who I did not live with growing up. My mother faced alcohol addiction and when I was young, I barely seen her. Thankfully I have a great bond with her now. My dad and stepmom (whom I never refer to as a step) had custody of us and even though we were raised with manners, never had acceptance for this type of life. On the bright side though, this prepared me to care less about what others think of me.  I am a Jr and me and my father have never had the same bond since, even though he may say different.  That feeling has been instilled in me for years.  Now a parent myself, I can not think of judging or looking at anyone for who they are especially if my child is still figuring it out.  I certainly wouldn’t want them to feel that who they have to hide from the world.

  7. Hi, I must say that this article is very helpful and motivational. I can agree with you that most people do not live the life they want and that is primarily because of other people like friends and family. I even have a friend who is gay but no one knows that and to make his family happy he is suffering which is not good. There are so many people in the world just like him and that should stop. We are all humans and each of us has a right on its own life.

  8. Oh wow! I could feel the emotion behind your writing and can only imagine the conflict you went through growing up. This issue not only affects the gay person but also those close to them. I came from a very conservative religious family, and was taught the sinfulness of being gay since young. As I started having more and more gay friends when I was older, there was also an initial internal struggle. In the end, pretty early on, I decided that no one should have the right to dictate how someone else chooses to live. We should all rise to our responsibility, and even the privilege, to accept and love unconditionally. 

    Oh, and the “Love has no labels” video was great – had me smiling and in tears at the same time. 

    Kudos to you for writing about this topic.

  9. Hi!

    You put the feelings of so many into words so beautifully! I personally do not identify as LGBTQ+, but my best friend does. I had known her for years and once she came out to me, nothing changed, because nothing had to. However, she’s had bad reactions from people and this hugely upsets me.

    I do not understand why people feel the need to discriminate. We are all people, all just living our lives the best way we can, and no matter who you are or how you identify, you deserve to be loved.

    It’s ridiculous that in todays day and age, we still need things like Pride to raise awareness for LGTBQ+ people, because they are no different from heterosexuals. They should be accepted no matter what.

    Thank you for that beautiful post, it’s really lifted my spirits!

    Melanie

  10. I must say that Love and Hate goes together in its own way. Love yourself before giving love to other’s. Love will be hard to get accepted if you don’t love yourself. You won’t know exactly how to love. This is a great post about how the world works. But it’s life and life goes on.

  11. Good Morning,

    Thank God I was brought up in a very open-minded way and I am happy for that. Our society is way back in accepting things which should not be a problem what so ever. My personal belief is that we all come from the same Source and we all will be going back there one day.

    We are all equal with the same rights and obligations. In this life on earth, we have to learn to accept each other differences and to respect each other.

    Regards, Taetske

  12. Though I’m not gay, I have a lot of gay friends and some of them are my best friends too. Despite what people say, we’re all human underneath and I hate it when some close-minded radicals like to create tension when there are many other things they can focus their energy on, like solving poverty for instance. Keep spreading the love!

    1. GAy friends are the best to have! lol. Thanks for your feedback.

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